dream interpretation

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This dream interpretation was from my monthly column Sea of Dreams at
G21 Webzine for October #2, 1998.

"Paradox's"  Dream :

One of my friends was recently killed in a car accident and I have been praying to be able to see her in a dream.  The other night, my prayer was answered, but I'm way confused about the results. I remember her lying on a bed that may have been mine.  The room was very dim, but light was coming in through a window.  I began talking to her, I don't really remember what we said until she said something like,"You do know don't you that I'm not really here."  I noticed her eyes looked kind of bruised and strange. I remember that she was going to lift the blanket she was under, and I really didn't want her to.  Then the guy I've been interested in for quite a while came into the room.  I ran to him and he gave me a hug as I clung desperately to him. I think maybe I told him I didn't want her to leave and that I was scared and he told me it would be okay.  Then we turned back to her. I was crying and I think I told her I'd never forget her.  She said something about her birthday, I don't remember what.  That's all I can remember.  If you can help me to understand this dream, I would greatly appreciate it.

My deepest condolences over the loss of your friend.  The last dream interpretation I did covered this subject also, so you might want to read  Scott's Dream @ http://dreamemporium.com/sept982.html to gain further insight on the subject.  It's also a good demonstration of contrast showing which stage of grief each of you were in at the time you had these dreams.  Scott's dream illustrates the horrific fear first encountered when the death is new and difficult to come to terms with internally; while you were at a stage near acceptance with a desire to believe in the afterlife. 

First of all, remember that every character that appears in your dreams is actually an aspect of your own self, and not really that other person at all.  This is something I have to repeat in each dream interpretation because it is a basic truth and yet not common knowledge as of yet.  Just remember they are mirroring an aspect within yourself that you are reflecting in a similar way.  This could be any type of emotion...confusion, anger, sorrow, happiness; a characteristic you are not familiar with or one that you are uncomfortable with, or one that you need to work on more.  You can find more info about this by going here :  People in Dreams @ http://dreamemporium.com/dream_symbols.html  

Sometimes our dreams are precognitive, or we could be visited by a loved one in spirit form, on the other side.  This hasn't been scientifically proven yet, so it depends on how open-minded you are and what you believe, so it is totally up to the individual whether they want to believe what their intuition is telling them.  In what other ways can one determine whether their dream is precognitive or more than a regular dream?  By keeping a dream journal and learning what your regular dreams are like, versus the other types.  It takes time and repetition, as well as learning the characteristics of each type of dream...such as lucid, precognitive, theme, recurring, etc.

Dreaming of a friend recently killed in a car accident :  you wanted reassurance that she was alright "in real life," therefore coming to terms with death; but naturally you have confusion and fear over the unknown mysteries of the afterlife, so this dream reflects that fear in addition to your desire to understand death.  This is why I nicknamed you "Paradox."  

There are those that refer to our physical life as the true illusion, and that we are actually closer to being our true, spiritual selves in our dreams.  There are different levels of awareness within dreams, however...and lucidity is a higher awareness than a regular dream in which the dreamer is unaware of the fact that they are dreaming.

The movie What Dreams May Come  @ http://www.whatdreamsmay.com is a wonderful depiction of this type of awareness...because in the movie, the character played by Robin Williams is unable to see people for who they really are until he deals with issues and fears first...and then what was previously dark and feared becomes joyful truth as it is realized.  Anyone interested in dreams would not want to miss this movie, for the dream world is said to be the closest experience we have to being our true selves in the afterlife.

In this context, you are trying to heal the hurt and confusion and sorrow of losing a friend in a tragic accident.  You are also dealing with the fear of death, represented by the image of your friend's bruised and strange eyes, and the blanket you did not want lifted up.

I have been praying to be able to see her in a dream.  This is the paradox...be careful what you wish for; you just might get it! (smile)  We come to terms with this type of paradox our entire lives...wishing for something, but yet fearing it in some way...either that it will disappoint us by not living up to our expectations, or we won't live up to the challenge, any number of ways in which we fear.   

This type of dream helps you come to terms with your fears, and your feelings of conflict and confusion Nightmares are actually helping us, and although they seem like something mean-spirited, they are only pointing out to us something that is bothering us a great deal that we need to heal in order to grow and move forward. 

I remember her lying on a bed that may have been mine  : In this dream, I believe the bed represents your desire to bridge the gap between being in a state of mind which is closed & unknowing, to reaching a higher consciousness and awareness.  You will not allow yourself to see something until you feel safe and protected, but your fears will manifest themselves as scary representations until that time, showing you that this is bothering you and needs to be brought to the surface and healed.  We usually sleep in a bed every night, and that is where we dream.  It's the bridge between our physical self and our higher self/soul.

It is significant that you said the bed your friend was lying in may have been your own... and that leads us right back to People in our Dreams, @ http://dreamemporium.com/dream_symbols.html

Your dreams are all about you.  This dream, in particular, is all about you facing your fears of death.  Your friend is helping you do this, indirectly.

Theroom was very dim, but light was coming in through a window : I love this symbolism!  A room represents an aspect of your own self, and this was a bedroom, so it represents the room in which you attempt to reach higher awareness.  A window symbolizes that you have the capability to see beyond your present awareness, and the light symbolizes knowledge, peace and truth.  It is also referred to as the Light of God, and all of the answers to our questions can be found in this light...if we are ready for it.  One has to face their fears first.  Darkness symbolizes the unknown, while light symbolizes knowledge and truth.  See how all the symbols work together to give you a picture?  Even when we don't consciously understand our dreams, our subconscious mind picks up on it and works at deciphering it in the background.  When a dream is very important for us to figure out, we will be nagged by it until we do.  When we are able to make sense of it all and reach an epiphany, we've made wonderful progress and can move forward on our path much faster & more efficiently, which is why I encourage people to learn how to interpret their own dreams.

"You do know don't you that I'm not really here." :  Notice that you didn't remember what was discussed in your dream until this moment....the real reason for your dream.  Remember that this was said to you by your friend, who represents an aspect of yourself.  This is most likely the part of you which is trying to understand and make peace with her death, and with the concept of the inevitable death which we all must face one day.  The question is posed to you within your bedroom, from your bed...which as you know by now means the bridge between the physical and the etherical.

She is no longer in a physical form, and her comment reinforces the reason she is appearing in your dream :  to acknowledge her death and to say goodbye, in keeping with your wishes.  Your fear about death shows in the symbolism of the bruised & strange looking eyes and the blanket you did not want lifted.  You were fearful of the possible reality, so you chose not to "see the light."  The blanket in this dream most likely symbolizes "cover ing the truth."  To take it off, you would have to be prepared for what you may see...and until you can work through all the layers of your fears, you would see manifestations of fear instead of light & truth.

Just think about all the images that bombard us about death...movies typically depict death as scary and horrible, representing common fears; so of course we have to come to terms with a new awareness before we will be brave enough to let ourselves see what death is truly like.  Every person goes through this sooner or later, because everybody dies.

Your friend's bruised and strange-looking eyes reflect your own fears of death.  It is said that eyes are the mirror of one's soul...and she represents an aspect of your own self, and not her own.  Suprise!  Bruising in this context would symbolize black/fear of the unknown, and blue/sadness...and strange speaks for itself.  To be bruised is a form of an injury...so this could very well represent injurious beliefs and feelings, such as the pain of dealing with her death.

Then the guy I've been interested in for quite a while came into the room.  I ran to him and he gave me a hug as I clung desperately to him. I think maybe I told him I didn't want her to leave and that I was scared and he told me it would be okay.  Then we turned back to her. I was crying and I think I told her I'd never forget her.  She said something about her birthday "

The guy most likely symbolizes your desire to be protected and comforted by somebody who loves you and cares for you...because we only trust somebody who has our best interests at heart, right?

A hug is symbolic of this kind of protection and comfort, also.

You can explore other possiblities further by visiting the link about People in Our Dreams @ http://dreamemporium.com/dream_symbols.html


Please remember, however, that each character in our dreams is actually a mirror of some aspect within ourselves...so these strong, comforting & protective manifestations can be found within your own self through self-discovery and realization. 

The word desperately aptly describes the intensity of your feelings and desire to understand death and come to terms with the loss of your friend.

Notice that when you felt afraid in this dream, that is when this comforting guy made his appearance.  This speaks of your strong desire to face the truth and reality of death, even though you naturally have fears about it.  Good for you!  Many people avoid facing this their entire lives, until they are forced to do so.  This dream may simply be a cry for understanding on your part, but it makes me wonder if your path in life may have something to do with death in some way....because you are young and facing this issue so soon, before many people have to, may suggest that you could end up working in a field that encompasses death...such as being a doctor, nurse, nurse's aide, counselor, therapist, firefighter, police officer, or a volunteer in a nursing home, Red Cross, etc.  It might be interesting for you to print out this dream & the interpretation, and look at it a year or more from now, to see if it helped prepare you for future events that are to take place.  Our dreams guide us, and it is a wonderful affirmation when we are able to look back and see how this divine guidance does indeed protect us and comfort us.

Then comes the end of your dream...in which you have to come to terms with her moving on, demonstrated by the part in which you did not want her to leave .

Crying in this dream's context symbolizes release of pent up emotion.  Many symbols are logically interpreted.  You told your friend you would never forget her, and she mentioned her birthday.   A birthdaysymbolizes new life or celebration of life; in this case I think her message would be to celebrate her life more than mourn her death.

I hope this dream interpretation helps to put your mind at ease over the death of your friend, and helps you come to terms with it.  It is obvious from your dream's symbolism that you are bravely facing your fears and moving forward with new understanding, even though it may seem to take awhile for the full range of emotions to work themselves through to the final stage of acceptance.

Now for my usual disclaimer....please take any interpretations as suggestions to sift through and "try on for size," and only keep what seems to "fit" in your situation. If it feels true to you, go with your intuition. If it doesn't feel true, or off-kilter in some way, then explore further for answers that do seem to fit. It might take several re-readings to understand the concept of this interpretation, so just let it sink in. My interpretation isn't meant to be therapy or professional advice, but I sure hope it helped! Please feel free to contact me with any questions or if you remember something else from your dream.

Ultimately, each individual dreamer must decide what their own dreams mean. Please do not take anyone's word as "gospel" if it doesn't feel right to you, whether they have a PH.D or all the experience and fancy titles in the world. If it doesn't hit the mark for *you*, then it's not for you. You'll know.

Please let me know what your thoughts are on the interpretation. I appreciate your feedback.

Thank you for submitting your dream to the G21 Sea Of Dreams Contest.

Wishing you enlightening dreams,

Cyndi Russell, G21 Dream Advisor

Feedback from Paradox :

Thank you so much for my dream interpetation. I'm sitting at my screen almost crying because it is so good to hear the things my dream seems to have been trying to tell me. You'll be interested to know that I have progressed a lot since having this dream and because of my friend, I'm no longer afraid. This is what her life has come to mean to me, because she left behind poems showing that when death came she was ready to embrace it without fear. Now I'm ready to do the same, whenever it happens. Thank you for helping me.

"Paradox" :)

copyright 1998-2004, ZenCyn.

Life is but a dream
#1 & 2 November 1998 Dream Interpretation Contest Winners!

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